Chapter 20: Him

The stairwell was pitch dark as she ascended. Gu Yao, not paying close attention, stumbled slightly. This was an old residential building with no elevator, only six floors in total. Most of the residents were retired elderly people who went to bed early, so it was almost completely silent now—quite peaceful in its own way.

She opened the security door and entered; the apartment was also engulfed in darkness and cold silence, evoking a profound loneliness. Gu Yao had never felt this way before, but lately, for reasons she couldn't explain, she had become more sensitive.

She turned on the living room light and first went to her bedroom to change. Then she headed to the kitchen to fix herself something to eat. Too lazy to cook, she settled for a simple bowl of instant noodles.

While waiting for the water to boil, she glanced outside. The black Mercedes G-Class was still parked there. From the driver’s side window, a faint red glow was visible—someone was sitting there.

Though she couldn’t see clearly, an image formed in her mind of a man resting his elbow on the car window, silently smoking.

Unconsciously, he had begun to feel like someone she knew well, even though they had only known each other for a short time.

Forcing herself to look away, Gu Yao finished preparing her noodles and absentmindedly ate them in the living room.

She still felt off—like a cold was returning. Hastily, she swallowed a few pills, wrapped herself up snugly like a dumpling, and went to bed.

Outside, the night sky was a deep blue, moonlight shining brightly. Only then did she notice the bedroom curtains were still open. She went to draw them closed but couldn’t help stealing another glance outside just as the car finally started and gradually disappeared into the night.

She didn’t know how she fell asleep, but the whole night was filled with jumbled dreams, leaving her unrested.

Life continued quietly and uneventfully. Three weeks passed in the blink of an eye. During that time, she hadn’t seen Su Yu again. The man had kept his promise and seemed to have truly vanished from her life.

Her mood was neither good nor bad. Gu Yao went about her daily routine, commuting to and from work as usual—after all, she had grown used to this kind of life.

That evening, after work, she went to the bar to find Yi Xun. She didn’t even know why she went—just that she didn’t want to be alone and needed someone to talk to.

Yi Xun’s job at the bar was fairly light; she worked only three days a week and would return home after singing. She was still on antidepressants, so she needed to avoid overexertion.

Gu Yao arrived a bit late. Yi Xun was already on stage, singing a mellow song. Although her voice was still somewhat low and husky, a gentle, uniquely feminine warmth was discernible.

Gu Yao found a booth inside and sat down. A waiter soon brought over a cocktail.

“It’s something Qian Xun specially ordered for you earlier,” the waiter said.

“Thank you,” Gu Yao nodded.

Not long after, a long-haired man approached and sat down, raising his glass.

“Here looking for Qian Xun?”

“Yes,” Gu Yao nodded. She had met this man once or twice before. He was the bar owner, formerly part of a rock band that had since disbanded, after which he opened the bar himself.

“Then just wait a bit. She has a few more songs to sing,” the owner smiled, not in a hurry to leave. Instead, he struck up a conversation.

“You and Qian Xun are good friends, right? Has she always been like this? Besides singing, she rarely talks to others. She’s been at the bar for so many years, yet I’ve hardly seen her true self... it’s really...”

He trailed off, smiling with a knowing look.

“Strange, huh?” Gu Yao finished his sentence for him.

“Sort of,” the owner nodded ambiguously.

“Are you interested in her? Wanting to learn about her past, or just plain curious?” Gu Yao asked calmly, taking a sip from her glass.

The owner was momentarily caught off guard by the question and smiled without answering.

Gu Yao continued, “I can only tell you this: she’s a very good person, sings beautifully, and is kind-hearted. If you’re merely collaborators, that should be enough.”

***

By the time Yi Xun finished singing, Gu Yao had already ordered another bottle and was halfway through it.

“Take it easy. Have some snacks to line your stomach,” Yi Xun advised, knowing Gu Yao had a strong tolerance for alcohol and thus didn’t stop her.

Pressing her hat down, Yi Xun sat opposite her and summoned the waiter to fetch some chips and fried chicken from the nearby fast-food place.

Soon the table was filled, resembling a small feast.

“The bar owner’s been asking about you,” Gu Yao glanced at her friend.

“Oh, probably just curious,” Yi Xun shrugged, pouring herself a drink and sipping. “So, feeling down these days?”

“When have I ever been in a good mood?” Gu Yao shook her head, munching on the chips.

Yi Xun looked serious. “But it shows. Although you usually keep a blank expression, when you’re really down, you look lifeless, like you’ve lost all your energy.”

Gu Yao laughed at her words. They chatted for a while longer and ended up ordering several more bottles. A group of young men at a nearby table kept glancing their way.

Their eyes mostly skipped Yi Xun, focusing instead on Gu Yao’s slender arms and long hair, drifting over her delicate cheeks as they whispered among themselves.

“Those guys think you’re drunk and want to hit on you,” Yi Xun said with a look of disgust.

“Get a life,” Gu Yao pressed her fingers to her forehead. Though her cheeks were flushed, her mind remained clear and her eyes colder than ever.

Sure enough, a young man with blond hair led the group, approaching with a grin and bending over their table.

“Hey, miss, you’ve got a good tolerance. Want to share our table? Let’s chat.”

His companions came closer, surrounding the table.

Gu Yao’s expression darkened further. Normally, she might have thrown a few barbs or teased them, but tonight she didn’t feel like dealing with it.

Frowning, she grabbed a bottle from the table and smashed it hard on the floor. Shards scattered, some hitting one of the young men, who yelped and stepped back.

Only then did Gu Yao look up, her gaze sharp as she scanned the group.

“Do I look like someone who’s drunk to you?”

The boys exchanged nervous glances and retreated to their seats.

“Let’s go,” she said, tired of lingering. Rising, she told Yi Xun.

Outside the bar, although sober, they called for a driver.

Before getting into the cars, Yi Xun suddenly stopped Gu Yao.

“Yao Yao, though I don’t know exactly what’s weighing on your heart, knowing you as I do, it must be something about love. We’re both stubborn people, trapped by our past and unable to move on. I can’t really advise you, but I can share what I’ve learned.”

After a pause, she added, “It took me a long time to understand this—I don’t know if you’ll get it. Sometimes the way to untangle your knots isn’t to forget, but to try to accept. Not the pain itself, but the helpless, lost version of yourself in the past.”

The driver was a young woman who hummed happily all the way, occasionally chatting with Gu Yao.

“Sis, you’re pretty easygoing. Don’t let my poverty fool you—I’ve got an eye for quality. Take your car, for example: the interior costs more than the car itself. That sound system? It must’ve set you back at least fifty or sixty thousand. The sound’s amazing!”

Gu Yao glanced at her. “Really? I don’t know much about that.”

The radio was turned on, blasting a chaotic rock song. Not going to lie, the sound was quite good.

She searched her phone for a piano piece and connected it to the system via Bluetooth. The melodious notes poured out instantly, quickening like a cascade of pearls falling onto a jade plate—scattered yet ordered.

“That’s Liszt’s ‘The Bells,’ right? I’ve heard it before and really love it!” the driver bobbed her head to the rhythm, as if dancing a tribal dance.

Gu Yao said nothing, closing her eyes for a few seconds. She bit her lip, a faint expression of pain crossing her face.

“You have to master this piece in two months. With your skill level, it’s totally doable!”

“No, you’re playing too slowly. Your fingers must be faster. Focus!”

“Why’d you mess up? Are you that dumb? You’re embarrassing me!”

“No dinner today. Practice in the studio until you’ve played it a hundred times, then you can stop!”

Suddenly opening her eyes, Gu Yao reached out and switched off the sound system.

Memories flooded in. Accept? How could she possibly accept?

After the driver parked, she took her keys and slowly walked home from the lot.

A streetlamp flickered intermittently—one or two were broken. People hurried past, not few in number, but all in a rush.

Heavy workloads meant many were only finishing up work at this hour.

By the roadside, a thin old woman squatted with a basket in front of her, filled with large, bright-red pomegranates.

A sweet scent seemed to rise from them. Gu Yao stopped, crossing her arms as she approached.

“How much for the pomegranates?”

“Five yuan each. Big and sweet! Very cheap—since it’s late, I’ve marked them down,” the old woman said quickly, speaking in a local dialect.

Gu Yao saw the fruit looked good and picked one up, handing her the money.

The woman carefully placed the money inside her coat pocket and continued to squat there, calling out her wares.

“How long will you be open?” Gu Yao asked after a few steps, then turned back.

“I want to sell a few more. Business hasn’t been good today,” the old woman smiled.

Sighing, Gu Yao returned.

“How many left? I’ll buy them all.”

The plastic bag in her hand felt heavy with nine large pomegranates inside. Luckily, they didn’t spoil easily and would keep well in the fridge.

She usually didn’t eat these because they were troublesome, and she rarely had time—usually opting for something simple and convenient like apples or bananas, grabbing and peeling them to snack on.

It was only after Su Yu peeled one for her in the hospital ward that her interest was piqued. Seeing them now made her want to eat some.

The parking lot beneath the complex was, as usual, packed with cars. Returning late, there was no parking space.

By the unit door stood a flashy red BMW, its headlights on, almost blocking the entrance.