043 A Young Girl’s Heart

Staring at her own ordinary reflection in the mirror, and then thinking of Chen Zimo, Lin Xia felt a wave of melancholy sweep through her heart.

Yes.

She was insecure.

That insecurity had lingered from her previous life into this one. Whenever she thought of the people surrounding Chen Zimo, Lin Xia lost all courage and confidence. The distance between them was not merely that of the Milky Way—it was infinitely greater. They were favored children of heaven, blessed by fate; not only did they come from distinguished families, but their looks were also exceptional, refined and beautiful, as if bestowed by nature itself.

In her previous life, Lin Xia had been a boarding student. Every night, when the lights went out, the dormitory was filled with conversations about Chen Zimo. What he wore that day, what he said, how many times he smiled—her roommates made every detail of his life a topic for after-dinner discussions.

But what fascinated the girls most was the love triangle between Chen Zimo, Xu Yichen, and Liu Ziqing.

Liu Ziqing, as her name suggested, possessed a rare and ethereal beauty. From appearance alone, she was strikingly elegant, her slender figure drifting like mist or smoke, as if woven from dreams. Every gesture, every glance, carried a cool and aloof air.

Before meeting Liu Ziqing, Lin Xia had never encountered anyone with such otherworldly grace—a fairy lost in the mortal world. Her features were not flawless; if judged by looks alone, Lin Xia's college roommate was certainly more beautiful. But Liu Ziqing's unique, icy temperament, her indifferent gaze and detached expression, were like a snow lotus blooming high in the mountains, enchanting countless young men.

Faced with someone like Liu Ziqing, Lin Xia could not muster even the faintest hope.

Even to entertain such thoughts felt sacrilegious regarding Chen Zimo. Someone like him was born to stand beside such a beauty. How could a country girl like herself dare to dream?

Discouraged, Lin Xia kept these secret feelings to herself, never sharing them with anyone. Late at night, when silence reigned, she would quietly reminisce alone. Using a flashlight, hidden under the covers, she would write her obscure thoughts in her diary.

In some ways, her current writing ability was inseparable from those years with Chen Zimo. Every day, her emotions poured out in over three thousand words, slowly flowing from her pen. Those immature phrases, those secret feelings, those bittersweet days—now, through the cracks of time, they surged back, piercing the heart Lin Xia thought invulnerable, leaving a gaping void.

Just as Lin Yuezheng in "Blue Gate" secretly adored Zhang Shihao, going so far as to secretly photograph him, collect his discarded trash, and repeatedly write his name with his pen, naively believing that when the pen ran out, he would fall in love with her—Lin Xia was not so innocent. She didn’t even have the courage to write his name on paper.

Whenever they discussed his stories, she smiled and pretended not to care, yet her ears, betraying her, gathered every detail about him. She knew his favorite food, color, singer. She knew all his interests, his best friends, and the girl he cared about most.

So, the first time she heard Zhang Liangying’s lyric, “Let the future come, let the past go, it’s easier said than done,” Lin Xia wept as if her heart would break.

She could refuse to mention anything, but the aching regret lingered deep within. Every girl once had a prince in her heart. Perhaps he didn't ride a white horse; perhaps he only paused his gaze on you for a fleeting moment. Yet the sweetness in your heart would not diminish in the slightest. A single smile from him, even a trivial glance, could bring you joy for days.

When doing little compatibility tests, she would place her own name alongside his, hoping to glimpse the future—even if they had never spoken a word to each other.

She searched the internet for every scrap of information about him, loving everything he loved.

This was a girl's tender, youthful affection.

With no one to confide in, her feelings became a gentle stream of words. Her thoughts shifted, and a diary appeared in her hands. Lin Xia brushed her fingers across its cover, then slowly opened it and began to write:

There will always be someone in this world whom you keep locked away in the depths of your heart, never able to forget. He can so easily tug at your heartstrings, yet you accept it gladly.

Countless affairs fill the world, endless helplessness fills the heart.

Looking at the familiar yet distant words in her diary, she finally understood: the passage of time changes nothing. She could wield every weapon, yet could not match the grace of his bare hands.

P: Love the last line. Hu Lancheng really was talented, haha...