151 Solemnizer

The wedding procession advanced to the sound of gongs and drums, turning off the main avenue and passing through the Sanli Memorial Archway before arriving shortly outside the grand gates of the Green Lotus Residence.

As the sedan chairs were lowered, matchmakers respectfully helped the two brides alight. Following closely behind the groom, Luan Yi, they stepped over a brazier of burning coals and crossed the threshold into the courtyard. A quick glance revealed a sea of milling heads and a garden packed to capacity with distinguished guests. A closer inspection allowed Luan Yi to pick out many familiar faces, such as the renowned Excellencies of the Great Han—the Yuan brothers—and the universally acclaimed great Confucian and Gentleman of the Palace Writers, Lu Zhi. There were also his peers and close friends: Yuan Shao, Cao Cao, Chunyu Qiong, and others.

Dian Wei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Guo Jia, Xu Shu, Mao Jie, Xi Zhicai, Xun Yu, Xun You, and Cheng Yu remained off the guest list in their capacities as members of the inner circle, dressed in light garments as they moved through the crowd to welcome and seat the guests.

Crossing the threshold and taking another look, Luan Yi noticed that the expressions on the faces of the guests in the courtyard seemed rather peculiar. A subtle air of apprehension pervaded the air, and everyone appeared ill at ease, fidgeting anxiously in their seats. Even his grandfather, who should have been sitting placidly in the seat of honor, was darting about the courtyard looking thoroughly terrified.

"What on earth could make the usually unyielding Old Man Luan act so timid and submissive?" Luan Yi wondered, perplexed.

Just then, Luan Fu came scurrying out in a panic. While still some distance away, he began frantically exchanging glances with Luan Yi, repeatedly pointing upward with his index finger while his eyes widened and his mouth worked in a series of silent contortions, as if desperately wanting to speak yet uttering not a sound.

Luan Yi failed to grasp the meaning, assuming the darkening sky portended rain. He silently lamented his ill fortune, knowing that an open-air wedding was most vulnerable to bad weather. Yet when he looked up, the sky was completely cloudless with no sign of rain whatsoever. As he looked back at Luan Fu in bewilderment, he heard the old servant gasping for breath as he whispered urgently, "He's here! He's here!"

"Who's here?"

Before his voice had even faded, two figures emerged from the main hall. The one in the lead beamed broadly, his ample belly protruding as he called out in a resonant voice, "Luan Ziqi, We have come uninvited. Might We beg a cup of wedding wine?"

"Ah?" Luan Yi instantly understood what Luan Fu's pointing at the heavens had meant. Tossing a quick command to the matchmakers guiding the brides, he quickened his pace to the foot of the main hall's steps, bowed deeply, and offered formal salutes. "This subject was unaware of Your Majesty's arrival and failed to welcome you from afar. I humbly beg Your Majesty's forgiveness!"

"No harm done, no harm done!" Emperor Ling was in high spirits today, his eyes crinkling with smiles. "We came in private attire and gave no prior notice to Our beloved official. What crime is there to speak of? Set your mind at ease, Official Luan!"

"Thank Your Majesty!"

"Our purpose in coming today is primarily to observe the sentiments of the common folk, to see what the weddings of ordinary families are truly like. To witness Ziqi's nuptial banquet has truly opened Our eyes. Fascinating, truly fascinating!"

"Your Majesty's condescension brings immeasurable glory to this humble dwelling!"

Hearing Luan Yi's flattery, Emperor Ling chuckled heartily and surveyed the courtyard once more. "Speaking of which, Ziqi's residence is constructed in a most unique style." Pointing toward the thatched cottage, he remarked, "We had assumed all rooftops were covered with tiles. This is Our first time seeing a dwelling completely thatched with dry grass! Is this what they call a thatched cottage?"

"Indeed, it is a thatched cottage!"

"Oh..." Emperor Ling nodded. "It is said that the common people of Our Great Han mostly dwell in thatched huts. We never imagined they would look like this. They actually possess more rustic charm than the buildings in the imperial palace. It just goes to show that the lives of the common people are far more colorful than Our own."

Uh... The guests throughout the garden exchanged glances with one another, completely at a loss as to how to respond! Yes, exactly—the lives of the common people might indeed be more colorful than the emperor's, but just how much hardship, bitterness, and exhaustion underlay that colorful facade?

Luan Yi had no choice but to scrape together a reply, chiming in, "Your Majesty is truly insightful!"

"Hahaha..." Emperor Ling's face radiated curiosity and boundless delight as he turned to Zhang Rang behind him. "Rang-fu, why not imitate Ziqi and have all the buildings in the palace converted into thatched cottages?"

"Ah?" Zhang Rang turned pale with fright. "I implore Your Majesty to think twice! The buildings within the palace are all legacies passed down by our ancestors and must not be altered lightly!"

The assembled guests likewise dropped to their knees in supplication, crying out, "We implore Your Majesty to think twice!"

Emperor Ling wore a look of disappointment as he said to Luan Yi, "Look at them! Everyone says We are the Supreme Sovereign and that all under heaven belongs to Us. Yet We cannot even make a decision on such a trivial matter. The moment We open Our mouth, so many people come forward to dissuade Us."

Before the emperor's voice had even died away, the hall full of guests once again kowtowed in unison, crying, "May Your Majesty forgive us!"

"How thoroughly dull!" Emperor Ling stepped down from the high dais, bypassed Luan Yi, and followed the main stone path to the cultivated plots on either side. Pointing to the plot on the left, he asked, "This plant We recognize—it is a chrysanthemum." Then he pointed to the plot on the right. "And what kind of flower is this? Why is it so enormous?"

Luan Yi was mortified. "Reporting to Your Majesty, this is not a flower; it is Chinese cabbage—the cabbage commonly eaten at ordinary dining tables."

"Cabbage? So this is what cabbage looks like? We always thought cabbage came in strips!"

"That is only because the cabbage Your Majesty eats has already been sliced up by the kitchen staff!"

"Oh..."

Before Emperor Ling even had a chance to bend down, Zhang Rang stepped ahead, plucked a leaf from a cabbage in the plot, and handed it to the emperor.

Emperor Ling brought it to his nose to sniff, then kneaded it repeatedly between his fingers until vegetable juices were expressed before stopping. He brought it to his nose once more, smiled broadly, and declared, "It smells rather fragrant!" With that, he tossed the leaf to the ground, and Zhang Rang timely presented a silk cloth.

Wiping his hands, Emperor Ling said with spirited enthusiasm, "Very well, We have seen enough of Ziqi's residence. Just now, We decided that since We have come, We cannot leave empty-handed; We ought to bestow some reward upon Ziqi. What does Ziqi desire?"

"This..." The question came so suddenly that Luan Yi truly did not know how to respond. If he asked for money, it would make him appear too frivolous. If he asked for an official post? The emperor had just appointed him Grand Tutor to the Crown Prince; no matter what else he requested, Emperor Ling wouldn't grant it.

While Luan Yi was racking his brains, before he could formulate an answer, Emperor Ling spoke up first: "How about this? Our daughter, Princess Changping, has reached the age for marriage. How would it be if We bestowed her upon Ziqi as a bride?"

"Ah?" Luan Yi, Cai Yan, and Diaochan all cried out in simultaneous astonishment.

"Your Majesty, this must never be!" Zhang Rang pleaded desperately. "Luan Yi already has a wife. If Princess Changping were to marry him now, she would be reduced to a concubine. If that were to happen, where would the imperial prestige be? Where would the dignity of the royal house remain?"

"Hahaha..." Seeing the startled and distressed expressions on Luan Yi and the others, Emperor Ling threw his head back in roaring laughter. "We were merely jesting with Ziqi. To think that Our divine general could ever look frightened, haha..."

Luan Yi, Cai Yan, and Diaochan collectively let out long sighs of relief.

Emperor Ling blinked his small eyes rapidly and slowly continued, "We truly cannot think of a suitable reward for Ziqi offhand! How about this—We shall sit in the seat of honor today and personally officiate Ziqi's wedding. How does that sound?"

Joy lit up Luan Yi's face as he dropped to his knees and bowed. "This subject is profoundly honored. Your Majesty's immense grace is something this subject will never forget to his dying day!"

"Haha... Excellent, very good! Today, We shall act as the matrimonial witness!" Overjoyed, Emperor Ling—though nearing the age of thirty—hopped and skipped like a child all the way to the main seat in the center of the hall, plopped down into the chair, and declared, "Then let us begin!"

"Understood!" Zhang Rang acknowledged, raising his voice to chant, "Bring the groom and brides into the hall!"

Luan Yi rose from his knees, straightened his attire and crown, brushed the dust from his garments, and strode across the threshold. The brides' personal maids, Cai Yun and Qiqi, received their respective mistresses from the matchmakers and followed closely behind.

"This subject, Luan Yi, along with his dual wives Cai Yan and Diaochan, pays respects to Your Majesty, wishing you ten thousand years of life, and ten thousand times ten thousand years!"

Emperor Ling smiled from ear to ear, lazily lifting his right hand. "Rise!"

"Thank Your Majesty!"

"The rest of the ritual We know!" Emperor Ling cut off Zhang Rang, who was stepping forward to lead the ceremony, and chimed in like a child showing off a treasure: "Bow to heaven and earth!"

Luan Yi, Cai Yan, Cai Yun, Diaochan, and Qiqi all kowtowed in unison.

"Second bow... second bow..." Emperor Ling scratched his head, having momentarily forgotten the proper script, and hastily amended, "Bow to the Great Han Emperor!"

The Emperor? Wasn't it supposed to be a bow to the parents of the household? Cai Yun and Qiqi exchanged bewildered glances, but seeing that the young master showed no hesitation and was already bending his waist, they quickly led Cai Yan and Diaochan in bowing as well.

"Bow to each other as husband and wife!"

Flanked by his two brides, Luan Yi bowed to them respectively.

"The ceremony is complete!" Fearing that Emperor Ling might create some further absurdity, Zhang Rang rushed to interject, "Escort the newlyweds to the bridal chamber!"

"Haha..." Emperor Ling rubbed his hands together in excitement. "Rang-fu, come along, accompany Us to tease the newlyweds in their chamber!"

"Your Majesty, Your Majesty!" With great difficulty, Zhang Rang managed to hold the emperor back. "The bridal chamber rituals aren't until evening!"

"What? What kind of rule is that? Why go to the bridal chamber so early if the revelry is only for the night?" Emperor Ling was baffled, casting a glance at the sky. "There are still many hours until nightfall. If Ziqi and his two brides exert themselves for all this time, will they still have the energy for the evening festivities?"

Understanding the subtext of the emperor's words, the gathering outside the hall longed to burst into laughter, yet they had to suppress it, not daring to laugh aloud. Their shoulders shook uncontrollably as they flushed crimson from holding it in.

Zhang Rang hurriedly explained, "Your Majesty! Right now, it is merely time for the brides to return to the chamber. Luan Yi still has to come back out shortly to host the guests."

"Oh! So that's how it is!" Emperor Ling nodded. "Then We shall wait for Luan Yi to return so we can drink!"

Admonishing him, Zhang Rang urged, "Your Majesty! Look, the hour is not early. We should return to the palace."

Emperor Ling waved a dismissive hand. "No rush, no rush. Let us eat and drink for a while longer. We are still waiting to tease the bridal chamber!"

An august emperor running off to a subject's home to participate in teasing the bridal chamber—what kind of spectacle was that? Yuan Wei and the others would certainly use this as a pretext to impeach him, the Chief Attendant, for condoning such lawless behavior on the part of the sovereign. When that happened, he would inevitably be left with a bloodied nose. At this thought, Zhang Rang broke out in a cold sweat. Pressing close to Emperor Ling's ear, he whispered, "Your Majesty, the Daoist Immortal Dou said that the newly refined batch of pills will be ready today. They must be consumed while hot to preserve their spiritual essence so that they remain effective."

"Oh?" Emperor Ling slapped his forehead. "I nearly forgot such a major matter! Then what are we waiting for? Hurry back to the palace to partake of the pills!"

"Understood... Prepare the imperial carriage for the return to the palace!"

Following a piercing shriek, the guests seated at the tables hurriedly rose to bow and bid their farewells. Watching Emperor Ling depart, they let out a collective sigh of relief. "The emperor has finally left; at last we can eat in peace."

When Luan Yi returned from the middle courtyard, Emperor Ling had long since vanished without a trace. He couldn't help but smile secretly to himself: This Emperor Han Ling was truly quite amusing—impetuous and breezy, arriving and departing like a whirlwind, possessing a dragon-like quality of showing his head without revealing his tail.

Amidst his bright smile, Dian Wei approached, thrusting a cup of wine into his hand while standing nearby cradling a jar of liquor. Luan Yi knew that the unprecedented battle ahead was ultimately unavoidable.

Leaning close to Dian Wei's ear, Luan Yi gestured toward the wine jar and asked, "Big Brother, is everything prepared?"

"Rest assured, Worthy Younger Brother! It's been watered down by half!"

"Very good!"

Dian Wei was completely bewildered. "What? What kind of dog?"

"Nothing!" Luan Yi beamed with a smile. With this, he could ensure everything would go smoothly!

According to standard wedding procedures, Luan Yi ought to first toast the elders of the clan and then proceed to toast the attending guests. However, Luan Yi's wedding was somewhat different; the banquet was heavily populated by imperial nobles and aristocrats, and out of deference to propriety, he was obliged to begin with them first.

Carrying his cup of wine, Luan Yi walked over to the table where Yuan Feng and Yuan Wei were seated, bowed deeply, and offered a salute. "Lord Yuan, Lord Wei, the presence of you both at my wedding is a kindness for which I am eternally grateful. Here, I offer a cup of wine to express my heartfelt sentiments."

With that, he tilted his head back and drained the cup in one gulp.

"Splendid!" Yuan Wei beamed with delight. "Today, the imperial carriage graced Ziqi's wedding banquet, which amply demonstrates how deeply favored Ziqi is by His Majesty. Ziqi ought to encourage himself and go forth to accomplish great things in the future."

The Yuan brothers raised their cups in unison, shielding their faces with their sleeves as they drained their cups.

"My thanks to the two Lords Yuan!"