Chapter 33: Heh

"Sit here!" Li Yun made space on the edge of the bed, signaling for me to sit down.

I did not hesitate, walking over to take a seat.

"Which one is the real you?" I asked. At that moment, I felt as if the entire world had turned upside down.

"Heh, what do you think?" Li Yun smiled, but it was a forced, strained expression.

"I don't know."

After that, we fell into a long silence. The air around us was deathly still; I could even hear her breathing.

"Can you have me?" After a long silence, Li Yun spoke suddenly, though she did not turn her head, continuing to stare at the wall.

The words caught in my throat, unable to escape. Perhaps coming out to meet her today had been a mistake.

"Isn't it fine the way we are?" I said.

Li Yun was not ugly; on the contrary, she was a beauty. While she lacked the ethereal, otherworldly grace of Huang Ying, she possessed a unique charm of her own. Yet, for her, I felt nothing of that sort.

"Do you think I'm dirty?" Li Yun spoke again, her voice now laced with a hint of sorrow.

I swallowed hard and replied, "No. Although I was quite disdainful of your behavior in the past, I have never looked down on you."

"If that's the case, then why won't you have me? Don't worry, even if I get pregnant, I won't ask you to take responsibility." Li Yun turned her head this time, her eyes fixed on my face. I didn't even dare to look at her, fearing I might lose my resolve.

"That's not what I mean. I already have someone I love," I said, gritting my teeth.

Li Yun was perfect in this moment, the kind of woman who would stir the heart of many men. I admit that I was tempted, but I had to restrain myself.

"I know," Li Yun whispered, also gritting her teeth.

Only my grandfather knew about Huang Ying and me, so I was puzzled as to how she could be aware of it.

"Don't overthink it. I saw you two at Binjiang Park last time. She was wearing a mask and a hat, so I couldn't see her face clearly, but she must be very beautiful, right?" Li Yun lowered her head, her words filled with endless desolation.

"She is very beautiful." Huang Ying's exquisite face surfaced in my mind.

"Do you know when I started liking you?" I shook my head.

"A year ago. Every time I found an excuse to get close to you, you would respond with a look of disgust or disdain. I didn't dare tell you because I knew you hated me, but that was enough for me. I didn't have you, and no one else did either. But that day, when I saw you walking with another girl, I panicked. I thought I wouldn't care, but I couldn't help it!"

"So I found Chen Yuming and the others. I had them set up a meeting with you. But the moment I saw the look in your eyes, I had already given up, because the first thing I saw was your resentment! I wanted to try one more time, so I tried hard to be good to you, but you kept pushing me away. You wouldn't even look at me when I sat next to you. After the bar incident, I decided to give up, but I couldn't. Later, I kept appearing before you on purpose, but you still wore that same expression. That time I saw the photo on your phone, and then watched your panicked reaction—everything became clear. That was the girl you liked, wasn't it? She is indeed a hundred times better than me! I gave up completely then. But the next day, you apologized to me. Do you know how happy I was? I absurdly thought I still had a chance. I went to find you, but your reaction threw me back into the abyss."

"Do you know what is the cruelest thing? It's giving someone hope and then extinguishing it. Every word you said on the pedestrian bridge tonight was cruel, but I'm not angry, because I am exactly the kind of person you see me as!" Li Yun kept talking, her words flowing as if she had prepared them long ago.

They say women are crazy when they fall in love, and it seems true. I don't know what it was about me that attracted her, but love is mysterious. Sometimes, a single movement, a gesture, or even a glance is enough to make you fall in love.

"I'm sorry!" I managed to squeeze out these three words, for I truly did not know what else to say.

"I beg you to grant me one wish, as compensation for how you treated me before. Just this once, and I will never ask anything of you again!"

"Right now, have me right here!" Li Yun looked at me with burning eyes.

In that moment, endless temptation and overwhelming guilt swept over me like a storm. I could take no more. I turned, lunged forward, and pushed Li Yun down onto the bed!

My eyes were only a fist's distance from her face. She looked at my pale lips and smiled—a smile of pure happiness, I could tell.

Her eyelashes fluttered before me, and at such close range, I could clearly see the glistening tears in her eyes. I lowered my head and kissed her. It was the second time I had ever kissed anyone; the first was the one I loved, and the second was the one who loved me.

I had no experience to speak of, knowing only to press my lips firmly against hers. Li Yun closed her eyes. Food and sex are human nature; at that moment, I let go, no longer allowing useless shame to hold me back.

After the intimacy, I held Li Yun tightly in my arms. I never could have predicted that such a day would come for us. We were two parallel lines in different spaces that would never intersect, yet now, we had not only intersected but were inextricably intertwined.

Time seemed to stand still. We existed only to savor the warmth of this moment, for in the next, we might once again become parallel lines in separate worlds.